Well hello, my little blog. It's been a very, very long time.

I was listening to a song this morning that kind of got me thinking.

Some days you just breathe in

Just try to break even

Sometimes your heart's

Poundin' out of your chest

Sometimes it's just beatin'

Some days you just forget

What all you've been given

Some days you just get back

Yeah, some days you're just alive

Some days you're livin'

I've been wondering.... Have I been living?

I don't feel like I have. I think I have been caught up in the rat race, kind of just getting by to pay the bills.

Lately, I have been taken a good long look at what I have. I am so grateful for my life. I have the best damn husband and kids. I always seem to have what I need.

I'm trying to understand why I am not happy. I know what it is, it's my job. I do enjoy moving up and getting recognition but it is not fulfilling in any way anymore. I don't know if it ever was. In fact, it is that kind of soul-sucking job that it ends up taking the joy out of the things that would normally bring me happiness.

So the question is what am I going to do about it? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not quite there.

I have several friends that are in the same boat as me. I see them making the leap, looking for that happiness. I am so excited for them. I hope they find what they are looking for.

I feel the need to take baby steps. I'm trying to find that balance where my work doesn't interfere with my home life. I've started spending more time with my husband and kids. I've dedicated one weekend out of the month for them. When I think of it like that, only one weekend it makes me upset that that is all I can do. That is all I am allowed to do with this job.

I want more of those, heart pounding out of your chest kind of days.